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As addicts and alcoholics, we’re prone to getting stuck in the victim role.
It’s what thwarts our recovery in many cases, holding us back from taking
action in our lives, from making decisions and choices to live better, stop
using and drinking. For anyone who has struggled with the “poor me, I can’t
change” syndrome, James Frey’s book “A Million Little Pieces” might just
help snap you out of it.
There has been quite a bit of hype over this book since its April 2003
release. This being Frey’s first literary work, he’s a rookie who came
out of the dugout swinging away. Media interviews abounded. He
was quickly dubbed a “literary bad boy” because of his no nonsense responses
to questions, his profane vocabulary, his rejection of Alcoholics Anonymous,
and his completely unapologetic stance regarding his zealous ambitions in
the literary world. Marketed as an addiction memoir, the book has
attracted both positive and negative feedback. Adversaries call it
exaggerated, repetitive, cliché, and some have even called Frey’s accounts
of his addiction and experiences in recovery outright lies (see
anesthesia-less root canal passage.) Proponents of the work, however,
find his lack of adherence to standard writing rules refreshing, the overt
gore with which the withdrawal experience is described honest, and his
short, repetitive and choppy prose engaging and addictive.
My perspective as a recovering addict: this isn’t your usual
addiction memoir. That much is true. If you think you’ve read it
all and heard it all, and this book could only elicit yawns, I challenge you
to crack it open. The prose is painfully vivid, pointed, and
evocative. Almost any addict will relate to Frey. And the one
thing all the hype has gotten right is that Frey has his own style of
writing—he does away with style all together. Rules of grammar,
punctuation, capitalization, are ignored. The author hits his mark
with this one—it’s addictive. The reader is drawn and pulled into
Frey’s saga, his thoughts, his mental rants and anguish like a runaway train
is pulled downhill. The lack of grammatical structure removes pauses
and breaks in thoughts and dialogue and leads you further and further down
the rabbit hole into the story. And it’s a wild ride.
As far as exaggerated accounts go, I can see how those who haven’t
struggled with substance abuse could be skeptical of Frey’s story. But
those of us who have been in active addiction know how easy it would be to
shock others with honest descriptions of how much of our drug we consumed
over a given period of time. I even shock myself sometimes when I
think of my own using experiences. The question is, why would we want
to retell these tales? For some of us, at one time, it made us feel
better about ourselves. “Look how cool I am, I used to drink this
much.” But those of us who are seriously changing our lives and our
ways find bragging is pointless and empty, an old behavior that doesn’t
bring us any glory or self-respect. I believe Frey was merely painting
a picture of the person he used to be to illustrate how low he had sunk.
It’s clear from his writing that he’s neither proud nor validated by his
drug and alcohol use and the violent, destructive person that emerged as a
result. The guy is just telling his story from his perspective.
The most important thing about this book for me was the simple message:
you don’t have to use if you choose not to. The book got through to
me. It doesn’t matter who you are, how far down you’ve gone in your
addiction, how weak or strong you think you are or how much damage you’ve
done in your life. You don’t have to use, and it’s not about steps or
a Higher Power or a sponsor. It’s about making a choice and living
differently and taking responsibility for your own life and actions.
What Frey taught me in this work is that it doesn’t matter how many “experts
in their field” tell you you’re going to fail and why. If you take
some control of your life, take responsibility for past actions and choices,
and make an honest, concerted effort to do better, you can. People can
tell you you’ll fail all day. It’s ultimately your choice. And I
love this book for that message of personal strength and triumph alone.
My advice: read this book now!
5/13/04 |