Keepers
My Sobriety is a Treasure
By Lisa P.
Well, who said the exhilaration was
going to wear off? I still get a particular thrill out of being sober. I heard
something about "rose colored glasses" and similar nonsense at AA
meetings. When it didn't wear off for me, people in my aftercare class did their
standard -- told me I was in denial. Sad, silly people. I believe some people
spend too much time wallowing in their despair at giving up alcohol to take
advantage of having a new outlook & lease on life.
I am driven forward by the changes I
notice. This is what keeps me going, and promotes the continued
"exhilaration." Small things, but I notice. And I take the time to
notice. Like my skin looks so much better. My hands don't shake. I actually have
friends and even better, can make plans with them and actually show up! Looking
for these changes is like watching your hair grow -- it is so slight and
infinitesimal, that you could stare in the mirror all day and see nothing. But
as time racks up, you can look back and see all of the encouraging changes to
your life.
I crave the very
"ordinariness" of life now. Not having the additional woes created by
myself after a day-turns-into-night of drinking. Having things run
"somewhat" smoothly, or at least more smoothly then they ever, ever
did when I was drinking. I have learned that life is actually "easier"
sober.
It's the little stuff that still, to
this day, impresses me. I buy cheap cut flowers from the street vendor every
Friday (money saved from not drinking -- wait until you see how this adds up if
you want a little exhilaration!) and take them home. It makes me happy. And
reminds me how much a treasure my sobriety is.
Posted
April 27, 1999
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