While lying in bed last night, after reading the "keepers" from the SOS page, and trying to fall asleep, I was once again overcome by the confusion and questions on the topic of moderate drinking: "what if?" "why can't I?" etc. etc. As the thoughts, voices and ideas performed their barbaric, ritual dance in my head, I came to an amazing realization. It entered my mind as subtly as a whisper and hit my brain with the power of a thousand jackhammers. I can't remember exactly what thoughts produced the revelation, as they left my mind as quickly and subtly as they had entered it. It doesn't really matter how the message got there. All I know is that the ultimate message finally came through. The message was:

"Don't drink, no matter what!!!!!!!! Free yourself. Sobriety is better. No matter what. Nothing compares to it."

I've got a lot of work to do to maintain this attitude, and a long way to go before I'm 100% comfortable with it, but, after 18 days, I finally have found the answer. It was there all along. Thank you.